


Fields of Gold

by Jessica_Bones_Winchester



Category: MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky is still healing, F/M, Fluff, Neighbors, emotional angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23586442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessica_Bones_Winchester/pseuds/Jessica_Bones_Winchester
Summary: After Steve passes the shield to Sam, Bucky and Sam move out to the country to lay low for a while. Bucky, still healing from his past, meets their neighbor, Ava, and discovers she’s got some healing of her own to do.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/OFC, bucky barnes/original female character
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

Ava hit the steering wheel of her old truck with her fist.

"No, no... come on!"

The engine sputtered its final breath and died.

"Damn it."

She coasted to the side of the dirt road, then tried to start it again.

"Come on."

The sound was horrible. She leaned her head back and sighed. It was seven miles to her house. Better than the fifteen miles to the closest neighbor in the direction she came from.

She checked her phone, hoping to call for a tow truck.

"Of course." No service. "I guess I'm walking."

She climbed out of the truck and shoved her wallet back into her pocket. She rarely carried a purse anymore. Especially not on simple supply runs or other trips into town. It just wasn't worth the hassle.

The day was warm, the sun shining bright above her without a cloud in the sky. Sweat appeared on her brow after the first mile, and she wished she'd brought a bottle of water with her.

She checked her phone again. Still no service. So she trekked on.

After another mile she came to the old Harper house. No one had lived there for ten years. She'd looked at it herself when she moved out here four years ago, but it was a bit out of her price range.

"That road is a long stretch of nothing to be walking."

Ava jolted at the sudden, unfamiliar voice.

"Sorry," he said. "Didn't mean to scare you." He took a few steps closer. "Name's Sam Wilson. Moved in a few weeks ago."

"I didn't realize the place had sold." She met him at the edge of the property and extended her hand. "Ava Linden."

Another man came out of the house. Long brunette hair and a thick beard.

"Where you headed?" Sam asked her.

"Home. My truck broke down a couple miles back, and the cell service is spotty out here."

"Bucky can help you there. He's good with cars."

"Are you volunteering me for something, Wilson?"

Sam grinned. "Bucky, this is our neighbor, Ava…."

"Linden," she reminded him.

"Linden. This is Bucky Barnes."

"Barnes?" Her eyes darted over his face and to his metal arm as recognition hit home. "You're—"

"Not anymore," he said.

She furrowed her brow. "How did you know—"

"I get it a lot. For good reason. It's a long story, but… not anymore."

She stared at him until Sam broke the silence.

"Her truck broke down," Sam said. "I was thinking we could be neighborly—"

"So you volunteered me to help."

"Basically."

Bucky glanced over Ava, then cocked his head toward the house.

"Come on. I'll drive you back to the truck and take a look."

"Thanks."

They got into a small, black SUV, and Bucky drove them back to where her truck broke down.

"I really appreciate this," she said. "It's hot out today, and I still had a ways to walk."

"No problem." He kept his eyes on the road.

"So, how do you like it out here?"

He shrugged. "It's ok. Quiet."

She nodded, but didn't ask anymore questions. His short answers made her believe he would rather not talk.

Back at her truck, Bucky popped the hood and examined everything. She stood next to the truck, watching quietly until he stood straight.

"Give it a try," he said.

Ava hopped in and turned the key. It sputtered.

"Ok, hang on," Bucky yelled.

The truck shook as he leaned back over. A minute later he called for her to try again. For a moment it sounded like it was going to start, but it didn't.

Bucky closed the hood and wiped his hands on an old rag.

"I think I know what the problem is, but I need to replace a part. I'll get you tied up to my trailer hitch and pull you home."

"I can wait for a tow truck if you don't mind calling them when you get home."

"It's almost dark. I'm not leaving you here."

Ava smiled. "Thanks."

Bucky nodded and went to work getting her truck secured to his SUV, then she got in her truck to steer and mind the breaks.

Back at home, Bucky unhitched her truck.

"I'll have to go into town tomorrow for the part, and I'll come back and change it out. Shouldn't take too long."

"Thanks again. I'd still be dealing with this if you hadn't helped."

Bucky just shook his head.

"Would you like some coffee or something? Water? It's hot today."

"Heat doesn't really bother me," he said with a grin. "Thanks, but I'll pass. I need to get back."

"Ok. Sure."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. Stop by whenever you're ready. I'll leave the key in the truck."

Bucky nodded, and then was gone.

—

Sam was still outside practicing with the shield when Bucky got home, but he walked over to the SUV as Bucky got out.

"She all fixed up?"

"Not yet. It needs a part. I'll get it fixed tomorrow."

Sam smiled. "So?"

"So?"

"She's cute."

Bucky glared at Sam and walked up the front porch steps.

"Is she?"

"Come on, man. I've seen you check out a girl or two."

Bucky stopped at the door.

"Did you see when she recognized me?"

"Yeah, you rudely cut her off."

"Because I know the question. 'You're the guy who blew up the Accords conference?' So, I gave her the short version of that answer."

"People have actually asked you that?"

"With their eyes. It's all fear."

"She didn't look afraid to me. She even got in a car alone with you."

Bucky shrugged. "Maybe she's just nice and wants to spare my feelings."

"Or maybe that wasn't her question."

"Or maybe she just wanted her damned truck fixed, Wilson. Either way, what's the point?"

He slammed the screen door and disappeared into the house.

Sam shook his head, and followed.


	2. Chapter 2

The creak of metal grabbed Ava's attention. She stepped onto her front porch and watched a few minutes while Bucky worked under the hood of her truck.

Had she offended him yesterday? Even if she did, he still helped her. That said something about him.

"Need any help?"

Bucky stood straight, but didn't look her way.

"No, I'm good," he said. "This shouldn't take too long."

Ava walked to his side and watched him work.

"I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday."

"Don't worry about it."

"I think, though, that you might not have known what I was going to say."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because your response didn't really fit."

Bucky glanced her way, but kept working on the truck. Silently.

"What I was going to say is, you're the Bucky who fought with the Howling Commandos…. Captain America's friend."

Bucky's hand froze and his head dropped forward.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't realize it would—"

"No. It's ok." He stood and wiped his hands on a rag. "It's just… recent events… Steve…" He trailed off and lowered his eyes.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it. I just wanted you to know what I was trying to say yesterday. You looked a little hurt, and you've been so nice. I didn't want you thinking that I'd intended to be rude."

Bucky shook his head. "I didn't think you were rude. I'm used to it."

"Used to what?"

"People being afraid. I'm the Accords bomber. The Winter Soldier."

"Well… I wasn't afraid."

Bucky nodded. "I appreciate that."

"I'll, uh… I'll let you get back to work."

Bucky nodded again and ducked his head under the hood. Ava backed her way to the house. Bucky was so focused on the task at hand.

She'd hurt him yesterday, though she hadn't meant to. He assumed her reaction was fear, but it was a surprise. How often do you meet a man who's a hundred years old and still looks—

Ava shook her head. He was obviously attractive under that long, unkempt hair and scruffy beard, but he seemed lost in some way.

She poured a glass of iced tea and went back out onto the porch, to the side that wrapped around facing west. She loved this view. The land spread out a couple dozen yards to a line of trees that served as an entrance to a thickly wooded area. The setting sun tinged the grass in gold, and the clouds in shades of pink and orange.

She sat on the porch swing and watched the sun slowly drop, until Bucky walked up.

"All fixed," he said.

Ava smiled up at him.

"Thank you so much. How much do I owe you?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"What about the price of the part?"

He shrugged. "Consider it a housewarming gift."

"That's not how housewarming gifts work,"'she said with a smile. "I should be getting you the gift."

"Yeah, well, I like to go against the grain."

Ava stood. "At least let me get you a glass of tea."

He started to shake his head, but nodded. "Ok."

"Great. Have a seat."' She motioned to the swing. "I'll be right back."

She grabbed her own glass for a refill, and was back a moment later. She handed Bucky a glass and sat next to him on the swing. He seemed to shrink away, but thanked her for the tea.

"This is a great view," he said.

"It's my favorite thing about the place. Sunset is so peaceful here."

"The trees on our property are too close for this kind of view."

"Well, you're welcome over whenever you need a quiet moment."

Bucky glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"You're not imposing if you're invited."

He nodded. "Thanks."

They settled into a comfortable silence until the sun slipped below the horizon.

"I should be getting back." Bucky stood. "Thank you for the tea."

"Thank you for the truck."

"You're welcome."

—-

Sam turned off the television when Bucky came in.

"How'd it go?"

"Truck's fixed."

"Good. How'd it go?"

"Pretty easy. The part is really—"

"Dude, I don't care about the truck. How'd it go with Ava?"

Bucky glared at Sam and turned into the kitchen without a word, but Sam followed.

"Come on. She's cute."

"Then why don't you date her?"

Sam shook his head. "She's not interested in me."

"Well, she's not interested in me."

"Yeah, you tell yourself that."

"She doesn't even know me."

Bucky made himself a sandwich, hoping that Sam would drop it.

"That's why you date." Sam sat at the kitchen table. "Did she invite you in?"

"Nope."

"Ok. Offer you a drink?"

"Iced tea, because I didn't take money for fixing the truck."

Sam smiled. "So, you sat and drank tea together?"

Bucky sighed. "Yes."

"Barnes… that was a date."

"Wilson, get a life so you can get your nose out of mine. That wasn't a date."

"What was it?"

"A neighborly gesture."

"Uh huh. When are you going back?"

"I'm not." Bucky bit into his sandwich.

Sam stood and scoffed. "Yeah, you are. You'll see her again within a week."

"Why are you such a pain?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Sam yelled back as he left the kitchen.

—

Two days later, Ava drove over to Bucky's. She grabbed the tray from the passenger seat and hopped out of the truck.

Sam waved at her. "Good morning!"

"Morning, Sam! Bucky inside?"

"Yep."

"Just, uhhh… what exactly do you do with that thing?" She pointed to the shield in his hand.

"Practice. It's really useful, but it can be hard to control."

"Useful how?"

"You know whose this was, right?"

She stared at it a moment. "Oh!"

"He gave it to me. Passed the torch, so to speak."

"Wow. That's quite an honor."

"The biggest. That's why I practice."

She nodded.

"What's that?" Sam pointed to the tray she carried.

"Oh, Bucky wouldn't let me pay him for working on the truck, so I made some brownies for you guys."

He smiled. "Brownies, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna…"

She nodded toward the house and Sam nodded.

"See ya later, Ava."

"See ya." She smiled, and walked toward the house.

She wasn't sure why she was nervous. Bucky was kind, even if a little closed off. But her nerves were getting the best of her. She hesitated, but knocked. Bucky answered a moment later and she stepped back so he could open the screen door.

"Hi."

"Hey, Bucky. I, uh… I wanted to thank you again for the truck, so I made you some brownies."

Bucky took the tray. "Thanks. You didn't have to."

She shrugged. "I wanted to."

"Heads up!" Sam yelled.

Ava didn't even have time to turn around. Bucky dropped the tray, grabbed Ava in his right arm and spun her out of the way to grab Sam's shield with his left hand. The sound of metal on metal vibrated through the air as Sam came running.

"Shit! Are you ok?"

Ava blinked at the shield in Bucky's hand, where she stood less than five seconds ago.

"I…."

"She's ok," Bucky said.

"I'm so sorry. It ricocheted at the wrong angle."

As the adrenaline faded, Ava's ankle started to throb. Her right ankle hit the porch stairs railing as Bucky spun her, and it was hurting.

Bucky put her back on her feet and she winced as her foot buckled.

"You ok?"

"No, my ankle… I hit it."

"Damn it. I'm sorry."

She tried to walk, but pain shot up her leg.

Bucky squatted down and lifted her jeans leg.

"Damn. It's starting to swell."

"I'll never drive home like this."

"I'll take you. Sam, grab some ice."

"On it."

Sam scooped up the tray of brownies and ran inside.

Bucky wrapped Ava's left arm around his shoulders and put his hand at her waist.

"Lean on me, ok?"

She nodded, but the first couple of steps made her ankle give out. Bucky scooped her up into his arms.

"Sorry about this," he said.

"It's ok."

He got her into her truck and Sam rushed out with an ice pack.

"You were right, Sam," she said. "You need practice. Lots of practice."

Sam smiled at her. "I told you. Sorry about your ankle."

"It's ok. Doesn't feel broken, at least."

"That's good. You need anything, let us know."

"Thanks."


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky lifted Ava out of the truck and carried her into her house. He put her on the sofa, propped a pillow under her foot, and knelt next to her. His fingers brushed over her ankle.

"It'll bruise, but it's not broken. The next couple of days will be the worst."

"I can't imagine how it would feel if it were broken. This is bad enough."

Bucky shook his head. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, you saved me from something worse. That shield would have taken my head off."

"Yeah… Sam definitely needs more practice."

Ava smiled and adjusted the ice on her ankle.

"You can take my truck back. It's not like I'll be driving it for a couple days."

Bucky stood and crossed his arms.

"Do you have someone who can come help you out?"

Ava lowered her eyes, bit her lip, and shook her head.

"You can't even walk. Do you have crutches?"

"I'll manage."

"When you need food? Or the bathroom?"

She shrugged, and Bucky sighed.

"I can't leave you here alone." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "What if I, uh…"

"What?"

"Stay here?"

"Bucky, I appreciate that, but I don't want to impose on you."

"It's our fault you're hurt."

"It was an accident."

"You were bringing us brownies."

"Because you fixed my truck. So, if anything, it's my fault."

Ava smiled, and Bucky couldn't stop the chuckle that bubbled up.

"Would you be uncomfortable if I stayed?"

She stared at him a minute. "No, I wouldn't."

Bucky nodded. "Good. You stay right there and I'll be back. I'll just go grab a few things for a night or two."

"Bucky… are you sure you want to—"

He held up a hand and smiled. "I'll be right back. Don't move."

He pointed at her with a stern look. Ava chuckled and gave him a half-hearted salute.

"Yes, sir."

—

Bucky braced himself for Sam as he walked into the house. He knew Sam too well now to think he'd let a chance to comment on this slide. He wasn't wrong.

"Dude, you're spending the night."

"Because she can't walk. Because _someone_ threw a shield at her head."

"It was an accident. But if that's how you feel about it, why don't I go take care of her?"

Bucky's stomach clenched. "You ever think maybe she doesn't want to see the face of the man who almost killed her?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah, ok." He passed Bucky the tray of brownies Ava brought. "Here's your half. You can bring them to your sleepover."

"My half? I'm the one who fixed her truck."

"She told me they were for both of us. They're good, too. I already had one."

"You're a pain in my ass, Wilson."

"The feeling's mutual, Barnes. Have fun tonight."

—

Bucky dropped his duffle next to the sofa.

"So, did you want to eat, or shower, or—"

"I'm fine for now," she said. "The guest room is down that hall if you want to get settled."

Bucky shook his head. "I'll sleep on the sofa."

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable—"

"Not really. The sofa's fine."

"And if I want to sit here when you're ready to sleep?"

Bucky smiled. "I'll be asleep after you and awake before you. Trust me."

"You don't sleep well?"

His smile faded, and he plopped down on the sofa.

"What are you watching?"

"An old sitcom."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all."

Bucky sat on the opposite side of the sofa, careful to avoid Ava's outstretched leg. They watched the TV in silence for a while, but Bucky didn't seem to be enjoying it. He hardly smiled, let alone laughed. He just stared blankly at the screen.

"Did you want to watch something else?"

Bucky blinked and shook his head, and the dazed look lifted from his face.

"What?"

"The show… if you're not into it we can put something else on."

Bucky shook his head again. "No, this is fine. I'm just not really focused on it."

"Any reason in particular?"

"You don't wanna hear about my stuff."

She smiled. "I asked, didn't I?"

"Ava…"

"Just tell me what you were thinking about. Just now."

Bucky took a deep breath and let it out in a long exhale.

"I was thinking about the day we met, and how, even when I thought you were afraid of me, you got in the car with me to go fix your truck."

"I wasn't afraid of you."

"I know that now. But why weren't you? Do you know about my past?"

"Only what I've seen on the news—"

"See, that's what I'm saying. The news was not kind to me."

"And at the museum."

He stared at her. "You went to the Captain America exhibit?"

"I did. Years ago."

"So, you really do know about the Howling Commandos."

"Sure," she said with a smile. "Did you think I was just trying to spare your feelings?"

"Honestly? Yes."

"I know you don't know me well, yet, but I'm not likely to do that. I've been known to speak my mind."

Bucky grinned. "Good to know."

"You looked kind of sad when I mentioned Captain America."

"Is this some of that speaking your mind?"

"No, this is me trying to get to know you. The real you. Not the version of you on the news or in the museum."

"And you're just diving right in."

She grinned, but looked down. "I can tell you something personal first, if it would make it easier to talk to me."

Bucky shook his head. "It's just hard for me to talk about some things."

"I understand. I haven't talked about my husband in four years."

"You're married?"

"I was. Until the disappearances."

"If he disappeared he should have come back."

"He didn't disappear. He was on a plane. Half the people on that plane just vanished… including both pilots. Everyone else died."

Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry, Ava."

"It's not your fault."

"In a way…. we were fighting Thanos… the one who caused the disappearances. Hell, I disappeared, myself."

"Sounds like you were a victim, too."

"Maybe." Bucky stayed silent a moment. "Steve is dead. It's a long story, but he passed away a few months ago."

"I'm sorry. You two were best friends, weren't you?"

"For a long time."

"And what about Sam?"

"What about him?"

"Is he a friend?"

"Yeah, I guess. We've been through a lot. He can be an annoying friend, but, yeah. I'd call him a friend."

"It's good that you have someone."

Bucky stared at her for a moment. "Who do you have?"

Ava shrugged. "Right now? I have you."

She grinned at Bucky until his gaze became so heavy she had to look away.

"Ava…."

She wasn't sure what was coming, but she couldn't look at him. She was terrified of the idea of him being attracted to her. But she was also terrified of being rejected. She hadn't opened up to anyone since her husband died. She hadn't let herself look at another man since he died. But there was something about Bucky.

"Too much?" she asked.

"No. I just… I'm sorry."

She shrugged.

"Is there anything I can do around the house while I'm here? Anything that needs to be fixed?"

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't. I've never been a TV kind of guy. I like to do things with my hands."

"Then moving out here was definitely the right thing to do. Lots of stuff to fix in these old houses."

"Exactly. So, what needs fixing?"


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky sat on the kitchen floor with his head under the sink. It was a slow leak, but left unfixed it could turn into a bigger problem.

Ava sat at the kitchen table with her foot propped up on one of the other chairs.

"So, what made you guys move out here?"

"Just trying to lay low for a while. Sam wanted to get used to the idea of being Captain America."

"What about you?"

"I just needed a quiet place."

"I guess I kind of messed that up, huh?"

She chuckled, and Bucky smiled.

"I don't know. It's still pretty quiet here."

"Well, I'm glad I haven't ruined it."

"What about you? What made you move out here?"

"I, uh… couldn't stand being in the house with all the memories of Jack anymore."

Bucky slipped from under the sink. "Your husband?"

She nodded.

"Sorry."

"I tried for a long time to focus on the happy memories and just be grateful for them, but… I was depressed. All the time. When I was home, I was wallowing in my grief. I had to move on. So, I moved."

"And it's helped?"

"Slowly. I can think about him now without it ripping me apart. Been that way for the last few years. Moving here was great for me."

"Maybe it'll be good for me, too."

He slipped back under the sink and worked for another fifteen minutes. Then he climbed out and ran the water.

"No leaks that I can see," he said. "Hopefully it's fixed." Bucky followed Ava's gaze toward the window over the sink. "You ok?"

"Yeah. The sun is going down. Last chance to change your mind, Barnes. You still want to stay?"

Bucky smiled. "Yeah, I do."

"Then help me to my porch swing."

"Sunset?"

"Sunset."

Bucky picked up the tools. When Ava tried to stand he fussed.

"No, no, no…. I got ya."

"Bucky—"

He scooped her up and carried her through the house.

"You don't have to carry me everywhere."

"You need to stay off that ankle. I don't mind."

He sat her down gently on the swing and sat next to her, on her left.

"It is beautiful out here," he said.

"It really is. It's been my saving grace the last few years. That there's still something beautiful in the world."

Bucky looked over at Ava as she looked out toward the skyline. For the first time in a long time, he felt at peace.

"Yeah. It's a good reminder." Bucky rubbed a hand over his beard and slipped it back through his hair. "So, uh… what was your life like before the disappearances?"

She smiled. "City girl. Through and through. I grew up in Manhattan."

"Yeah? Brooklyn."

"I know."

He shook his head. "Right."

"I met Jack at college and I knew I was going to marry him. There was just something about him. It's a rare feeling."

She glanced up at Bucky, but looked away quickly.

"It is rare," he said.

"So, we married," she said with a smile, "and we were happy together for eight years."

"Sounds like you really love him."

"I did. I do, but… things are starting to fade. Time takes memories away."

"Not always."

Ava glanced at him. "What do you want to forget?"

"A lot of things."

Ava took his hand and squeezed it between both of hers, and rested them on her leg.

"I guess we've both got ghosts."

"Guess so."

Bucky sucked in a quiet breath when Ava slouched down and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Maybe we can help each other fight them,"'she said.

"Maybe."

Bucky curled his fingers around hers and they watched the sunset in silence.

It was well after dark when Ava shivered.

"Cold?"

"A little."

"Let's get you inside."

Bucky picked Ava up and carried her through her bedroom, into her bathroom. He set her down on the edge of her tub and rubbed at his neck.

"I'm sure you don't want me poking around in your personal items. You good to stay off that foot to get what you need to shower?"

She nodded. "I'm good."

"Just, uh… yell if you need me."

Bucky smiled and backed out of the room. He lay back on the sofa and covered his face with both hands.

_What are you doing?_

He barely knew her, and yet…

He sat up and ran a hand over his beard again. He let it grow out to cover his face. To hide the Winter Soldier. It wasn't working. He still saw the killer when he looked in the mirror.

Ava yelled for him several minutes later, and he ran in.

"You ok?"

She sat on the edge of her bed, fully dressed.

"I had to put some weight on my ankle and it's killing me."

"Where we heading?"

"Kitchen. I'm starving."

Bucky smiled. "Me, too."

He lifted her into his arms. The scent of her shampoo clung to her damp hair, and Bucky inhaled deeply.

Bucky set her on a chair, then grabbed a throw pillow from the sofa to prop her foot up on another. He placed an ice pack on top.

"There's sandwich meat in the fridge," she said. "Bread in the pantry."

"I'm on it."

Bucky put everything on the table and they both made their own sandwiches. After Ava had her first bite, she sighed.

"Tell me something about yourself now."

"Now?"

"Yeah. Something about the man you are now. Not Captain America's best friend. Not the Howling Commando, or the Winter Soldier. Just… Bucky."

He shook his head and stared at his sandwich.

"There isn't much to tell. I don't…" He searched for the words. "I don't really know who I am now."

"What do you do when you're not off fighting bad guys?"

She smiled, and Bucky couldn't stop himself from smiling back.

"I train. I study."

"What do you study?"

"The world. I missed a lot."

"Right… you did."

"It was simpler then."

"When?"

"Before the war. Maybe it was the time. Maybe it was before all the… the horrors of war and… everything. But sometimes I wish I could go back."

"Well, I'm glad you're here."

Bucky smiled at her. "Right now, I'm glad I am, too."

Ava smiled and bit into her sandwich again. They ate in silence.

Back on the sofa, Ava sat with her leg propped up on the coffee table, and Bucky sat to her left. Ava gave Bucky control of the remote, and he found a documentary on the Sixties. An hour later, Ava was asleep on Bucky's shoulder. He pulled her into his lap, then stood. She stirred a bit.

"Shhh… I've got you."

She snuggled against him as he walked to her room. He almost hated to put her to bed, but she needed her rest, and she should be comfortable. He covered her and brushed some hair from her face after she settled.

_What are you doing?_

Bucky slipped from the house and drove home. He tried to avoid Sam, but he wasn't that lucky.

"She get tired of you and kick you out?"

"I just forgot a few things."

"Hmmm."

Bucky grabbed a black bag from the bathroom counter. He expected Sam to follow him around the house and fire off a ton of questions, but he stayed in the living room, and only told him to have a good night when he left.

Back at Ava's, Bucky grabbed his sweatpants and an old shirt that he slept in. He grabbed the black bag and emptied it onto the bathroom counter, then he searched until he found a pair of scissors.

He stared into the mirror and ran a hand over his jaw.

There was one way he could go back in time. Back to James Barnes, the kid from Brooklyn.

He picked up the scissors and cut a large chunk of hair from his head. When the weight of the change passed, he kept going until the long hair of the Winter Soldier was gone.

He grabbed the small can of shaving cream from his black bag, and slathered it across the thick beard. It took some time to work through, but when his face was finally free of every whisker, he smiled at his reflection.

"Nice to see you again, pal."


	5. Chapter 5

Ava stretched and yawned. The sun seemed brighter than usual for the morning. She glanced at the clock. Nine-fifteen. No wonder.

She sat on the edge of the bed and rested her foot on the floor. It was definitely still sore, but it didn't look as swollen, and the pain didn't shoot up her leg.

She put as little weight as possible on it as she hobbled to the bathroom, then used the furniture through the house to lean on as she made her way into the kitchen. The smell of coffee and bacon filled the air as she got closer.

"Something smells good," she yelled from the living room.

"Are you on your feet?"

Bucky came into the room and Ava stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth open.

"What?" he said.

"Your… you shaved and…"

"Oh, yeah." He looked down and rubbed a hand over his neck. "The hair's kinda bad. I just cut, and—"

"No, it's… it just needs some cleaning up. I can do that for you. I used to do it for Jack when we first got married."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe after we eat."

He lifted Ava into his arms and carried her into the kitchen.

"My ankle is doing better. It doesn't hurt as much."

"That's because you stayed off of it. So, let's try keeping that up today."

Ava grinned. "I'm starting to think you just like carrying me around."

Bucky sat her in the chair, but didn't straighten right away. He put a hand on the table and held her gaze a moment.

"Maybe I do."

Ava blushed and looked away.

"Hungry?" Bucky asked as he stood.

"Very."

"Good. It's not much. Just scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast."

"It's more than I would have made this morning."

He set a plate before her and poured her coffee, then joined her at the table. They ate in silence, but Ava kept stealing glances at him. She knew he was attractive, but with the long, unkempt hair and thick beard gone, he was even more attractive. His eyes seemed brighter, his smile more vibrant. He was beautiful.

"Why the change?" she finally asked.

"Hmm?"

She pointed at him with her fork. "The hair and beard."

Bucky set his fork down and rubbed his hand over his jaw.

"Just wanted to see if I was still under there somewhere."

"And were you?"

"You saw the museum exhibit. You tell me."

"I think… you look like Bucky Barnes."

He smiled. "I think so, too."

"It's great. You look… lighter."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow up, and Ava chuckled.

"I mean, it looks like it worked for you."

"I think it helped."

"Good. You deserve to be you."

"I don't think I'll ever be the old Bucky again."

"That's ok. I'm certainly not the same person I was ten years ago. Or five for that matter. People change. We grow. You just have to make sure not to lose your deepest self. The part of you that makes up your kindness. Your gentleness."

"You think I'm gentle?"

"Who's been carrying me around the house?"

Bucky grinned and looked down.

"You could have flung me around like a rag doll, Mr. Super Soldier. But you…"

She took a deep breath and looked away.

"What?"

"I just haven't had that in a long time."

Bucky reached out to her with his metal hand, and she took it without a second thought. She didn't want to cry, but thinking about his tenderness, having Bucky take care of her, brought the loss of companionship to the surface for the first time in years.

She wiped a tear from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be." He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand, then pulled away. "I noticed the middle step outside is a little warped. I was planning on fixing it."

"Bucky—"

"You wanna keep me company?"

"You know you don't have to keep fixing things."

"I know. I want to. Keep me company?"

"Of course. But you'll need supplies. And you may want to let me clean up your hair cut, first."

She grinned as Bucky ran a hand over his now short locks.

"Yeah. Good idea. Can you stand up to do that?"

"Sure. I can keep my weight off of it."

Bucky cleaned up, then carried Ava into the bathroom.

"I have Jack's old electric shaver in the master bathroom. Top drawer, left of the sink. Can you grab that?"

He nodded and brought the shaver back. Ava plugged it in, grabbed the scissors, and motioned for Bucky to sit on the edge of the tub.

"Put your feet in."

Bucky followed instructions and Ava went to work. It certainly wouldn't be perfect. It was a good thing guys looked good with messy hair.

She trimmed some longer clumps that Bucky missed in the back, and tried her best to remember how Jack liked the top done. It had been so long.

She fought the urge to lose herself in running her fingers through his hair as she evened the sides. She could have sworn he shivered when her nails scraped over his scalp. Ticklish, _or…_?

With that finished, she cleaned up the edges and around his neck with the eclectic shaver, then she limped backward.

"Ok. Take a look."

Bucky got up and examined himself in the mirror.

"That's really good."

"It's ok."

"Better than what I did, doll."

Ava smiled and looked away as heat crept into her cheeks at the term of endearment. Did he even realize he'd said it?

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her in the mirror.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He took the shaver from her and unplugged it.

"Nothing?"

"I'm just glad you like it. It's been a long time."

—-

Bucky drove into town to buy wood, stain, and other supplies to replace the step.

His openness with Ava surprised him. Talking about losing himself. Consoling her with his metal hand. He'd been careful until then to keep her to his right, away from the mechanical limb, but he didn't even think about it this morning. And she didn't flinch. She took hold of it like a lifeline.

He wondered over the way she blushed when she finished his hair. All he'd said was…

 _Doll_. He'd called her doll.

"Barnes, you flirt."

He shook his head, but a grin slowly tugged at his lips. Was that a hint of the young Brooklyn guy he was? His deepest self? The word just slipped out. The word he used with girls he liked. And, yeah, he liked Ava.

And she blushed. Did she like it? Did she like _him_?

He mulled it over as he got what he needed, and as he drove back to Ava's.

She was already sitting on the front porch when he got out of the truck.

"I thought we agreed you needed to stay off of that ankle again today?"

"It's doing better. I promise. But I'll let you carry me back in later, if it makes you feel better."

She smiled, and Bucky shook his head.

Yeah… he liked her.


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky handed Ava a small plate with a brownie on it, then sat in the chair next to her on the porch.

"Sam said these are great." Bucky took a bite and closed his eyes. "Damn it."

"What's wrong?"

"I hate it when Sam's right."

Ava smiled. "Thanks."

"No, thank you. These are really good."

Bucky leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of him. He sighed as he chewed.

"That step is looking good," Ava said.

"Almost done. I'll sand down the others and restain them so they all match."

"Bucky," Ava shook her head, "You don't have to do all this work."

"Well, I've already started. I'm gonna do it right."

Ava smiled. Bucky closed his eyes again. The sun lit the sharp lines of his jaw, and highlighted the lighter brown tones in his hair.

He was gorgeous. Hidden beneath a mask of facial hair and stoic acceptance, he was light, and funny, and handsome. Now, both masks were gone, and he allowed her to see him for who he really was.

"Bucky…"

He opened his eyes and turned his head to her. "Yeah?"

"You, uh… you mind helping me into the kitchen so I can start making something for lunch?"

"A sandwich is fine."

"Not for the work you're doing. I'm going to cook something."

"Not on that ankle."

"Bucky, it's fine. I'll be ok once I'm in the kitchen."

"I thought you were keeping me company?"

She laughed. "Do you want my company or do you want food?"

Bucky stared for a moment without a hint of a smile. "I want your company."

Ava blushed and looked away. "I'd have taken the food if I were you."

"Priorities." He walked down the steps and picked up the sander. "I'm almost done here, then we'll go inside together. Sound good?"

Ava nodded. "Sounds good."

—

Bucky joined Ava on her porch swing to watch the sunset. He sat close, but not close enough that they touched in anyway. She was almost disappointed by that.

"I could really get used to this," he said.

"Me, too."

He chuckled. "You're already used to it. It's your swing."

"I meant the company."

She held her breath until a slow smile pulled at Bucky's lips.

"Not tired of me yet?"

"I've enjoyed you being here."

Bucky's eyes flicked over her face until they landed on her mouth. She stared into his eyes as he leaned forward, and just before his lips pressed to hers, he glanced up into hers.

It was soft. Just a touch that lingered as he guaged her reaction. Then he pulled back just enough to break the kiss.

"That ok?"

Ava nodded. She fought back tears, and she wasn't sure why.

Bucky cupped her face in his right hand and brushed his thumb over her cheek as he leaned in again. This time, Ava kissed him back. She pressed forward, and leaned into him. She fisted the front of his shirt for a moment, then flattened her hand against his chest. When Bucky rested his metal hand on her hip, Ava wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Bucky sucked in a breath, and slanted his mouth over hers.

A tear slipped down Ava's cheek, and Bucky's thumb brushed through it. He pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

Ava shook her head. "Nothing."

"You're crying."

"It's stupid."

"Hey, come on. Why are you crying?"

She closed her eyes and held his hand against her face.

"I haven't felt this way since Jack."

"What way?"

"Happy. I've been happy with you here."

"Ava… open your eyes."

She shook her head, but obeyed. She waited for the rejection. It was too much. He'd just begun to rediscover himself, and she'd hung her happiness on his presence.

"I've been happy here with you, too."

"Really?"

"Really."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then pulled her legs over his and drew her into his arms.

"We've both got a lot of baggage," he said. "Me more than you, and I don't want to hurt you."

"So, you don't—"

"I want to take this slow."

"Define slow."

Bucky chuckled. "Just like this. Spending time. Talking. Watching the sunset…. kissing?"

He thread his fingers through the hair at her temple.

"Kissing, huh?"

"The way I see it, the amount of time we've spent together, this is basically a fourth date."

Ava nodded. "And we know a lot about each other now."

"We do."

"So, slow."

"Slow." He took a deep breath, and let it out in a sigh. "Which is why I think I should go home tonight."

Ava sat up. "You don't have to."

"I know." Bucky brushed her hair over her shoulder and traced the edge of her bottom lip with his thumb. "I just think it's better if I do. I don't wanna hurt you."

"You said that already."

"I know I did. And I'll say it again. I don't want to hurt you." He emphasized each word. "I'll come back tomorrow, and we can spend the day together. But now that we've both admitted what we admitted…"

He pressed his lips to hers and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. She parted her lips just enough to give him access, and he sighed, then pulled back. He brushed his nose along hers.

"I could do that all night," he said. "And more. That's why I shouldn't stay."

Ava nodded. "I understand. You're right. We take it slow. I don't want to hurt you, either."

She lay her head against his chest and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"It's just been a long time since I've felt so connected to another person," she said. "I forgot the way it feels to be content."

"So did I."

"Can you stay until the sun goes down?"

He rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"Wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

—

Bucky threw his duffle on his bed and sat on the edge with his head in his hands.

"She kick you out?"

Sam leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No." He scrubbed a hand over his face and looked up at Sam in the doorway. "I like her, Sam."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, I kinda figured."

"What, no jokes?"

"No jokes. So, why'd you come home?"

"Her ankle is better, and I didn't think it was a good idea to stay. She likes me, too."

"Then why are you here, man?"

"I've got baggage. So does she. We need to take this slow."

Sam nodded, then pointed to his face and moved it around in a circle. "Cut and shave? Was that for her?"

Bucky ran a hand over his head and smiled.

"Maybe a little. Mostly for me."

Sam nodded. "Good. You seeing her tomorrow?"

"I am."

A smile spread across Sam's face. "Good."


	7. Chapter 7

Bucky called early to say that he would be over around noon.

"Oh, so you just want me for my food," she teased.

Bucky laughed. "Wouldn't dream of it. In fact, I'm bringing lunch. I'm on my way into the city, so I'll bring back something really great."

"Can't wait! I love surprises."

"Good to know. Need anything while I'm out in the real world?"

"Nothing I can think of. You just get back here in time for lunch."

"Yes, ma'am."

Bucky disconnected the call and stared ahead at the road. Sam glanced at him from the driver's seat.

"I haven't seen you smile that much since… ever."

"Shut up." He tried to sound irritated, but he couldn't wipe the smile from his face.

"Oh, man, you got it bad."

Bucky leaned back against the headrest.

"Did Fury say what he wanted?"

"He said to give him half an hour," Sam said.

"Yeah, but for what?"

"Pretty sure it has to do with keeping the band together… what's left of it."

"That band is gone."

"Not all of it."

Bucky shrugged and watched the trees fly by. He didn't want to be an Avenger, or anything like it. Sam, sure. Sam would be great. Bucky only ever fought because of Steve. First, because Steve fought for him. Then, because Steve was fighting to save the world. Steve was gone, and now Bucky had the promise of Ava. He wouldn't sign up to run off and fight when all he wanted was to spend time with her. It wouldn't be fair to her. It wasn't fair to him. Hadn't he done enough?

Sam was right. When they arrived, Clint, Wanda, Bruce, Scott, Strange, Parker… they were all there. None looked too happy about it. They looked less happy after Fury's pitch.

Strange wasn't interested beyond his call to protect the New York Sanctum. Clint wouldn't make any promises without discussing it with Laura first, and after losing his family for five years, he wasn't too keen on leaving them. Wanda agreed to return only if Clint did. The others all gave their answers in varying degrees of commitment and interest, except for Sam and Parker. They were willing, if called.

Fury called the meeting to an end with a disappointed look, and Bucky was the first one out the door. Sam ran after him.

"Hey, man. Hang on. Let's get some details."

"Not interested. I told Ava I'd be back with food in time for lunch."

"Is she why you were so quiet in there?"

Bucky stopped and looked at his friend.

"You know my past, Sam. I did the army thing. Kept fighting because I wasn't about to be shown up by my best friend. Then the whole Winter Soldier thing…" Bucky ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just feeling normal again. I'm done fighting."

Sam nodded. "Ok. I get that."

"Do you really?"

"Absolutely. You forget, I worked with vets. Some with severe PTSD. If you're done fighting, then you're done. I won't push. Hell, I didn't think I'd get back in until Captain America came knocking on my door."

Bucky smiled. "He definitely made it hard to say no."

"Tell me about it." He gave Bucky's shoulder a squeeze and got them walking again. "Besides, you've got a good thing going with Ava. I know she's at least part of the reason."

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Nah, man. No maybe."

Bucky checked his watch. "We've got just enough time for me to grab lunch and get back."

"Conversation over, huh?"

"You driving?"

Sam shook his head. "Yeah, I'll drive."

—

Ava's heart raced when she heard Bucky's SUV pull up. Part of her wanted to run out and greet him. The other part wanted to play it cool. She compromised and met him at the door.

"Right on time," she said.

"You doubted me?"

"You? No. The city traffic? Maybe a little."

Bucky smiled and held up a bag.

"Am I allowed inside? I did bring food. As promised."

"Of course! But, uh… I have a little surprise, if that's ok."

"What kind of surprise?"

She stepped out onto the porch and closed the door. "Follow me?"

Bucky nodded and followed her down the steps, around the house and into the field.

"Where are we going?"

Ava slowed to walk beside him. "You'll see."

She slipped her fingers into his hand and he laced them together.

"Just a bit further," she said. "So, why the city trip?"

"Met up with some colleagues."

"Colleagues? Like… Avenger-type colleagues?"

"Yeah."

"Just a friendly chat or is something happening?"

"Neither."

"How could it be neither?"

"It was more of a request from someone, and I don't—" Bucky shook his head. "It's not important."

"Ok. I get it. You don't want to talk about it."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. It's ok. Really."

He squeezed her hand as they came upon a large quilted blanket with a basket and a cooler in the center.

"What's this?"

"You supplied the food. I supplied the location." She tugged him to sit. "Since this is kind of our first date, I wanted to do something special."

Bucky shook his head. "This isn't our first date."

"No?"

"No. Because if this were our first date, I wouldn't be able to do this."

He slipped his hand behind her neck, his fingers in her hair, and he pulled her lips to his. Ava parted her lips with a sigh, and Bucky took the opportunity to explore until Ava pulled back, trying to catch her breath.

"No… definitely not a first date," she said.

"You hungry?"

Bucky pulled the food bag over and took out a box.

"Gray's Papaya?" Ava chuckled. "Hot dogs? That's your great food from the city?"

"I'll have you know that these are the best hot dogs in the world."

"The best, huh?"

"Absolute best. This place has been around since I was a kid. Back then it was Papaya King. Every summer, Steve and I would save up some money from odd jobs and hitch rides to Manhattan. Gus would set us up with whatever new toppings combo he'd discovered, and we'd stuff ourselves."

Bucky smiled at the memory.

"Sounds like you had some adventures."

"Life was simple."

Ava took his hand. "It still can be."

Bucky lifted her knuckles to his lips. "I'm starting to see that. You have no idea what a relief it is."

"I think I can kind of guess."

"Maybe. My life has been too complicated for too long. Being with you… that's easy."

"It is, isn't it?"

Bucky nodded and reached for the basket. "Are their plates in here?"

"Oh! Yes. Plates, napkins, and utensils. Not that we'll need those. And…" she lifted the cooler lid. "I've got a few different drinks in here."

"Has to be soda with a hot dog."

"Then you're in luck."

She pulled out a can of soda and held it out to him. He grabbed hold of it, but Ava tugged him toward her for a kiss, which he happily gave into.

With the hot dogs dished out, the two of them ate mostly in silence. When they were both done, Bucky pulled Ava to sit between his legs, and lean back into him. He brushed her hair back and kissed along the column of her neck.

"Keep that up and I'll keep you out here all night."

"I'll let you."

"What happened to taking it slow?"

"This is still slow." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. "I just can't keep my hands or my lips to myself around you."

"I'm not complaining."

Ava reached back and slipped her fingers through Bucky's hair. Her other hand massaged his jean-clad thigh. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this way: wanted and wanting. Bucky's touch had her entire body tingling.

As he reached up to caress her face, his fingers brushed over her breast, and she gasped.

"Bucky…"

He turned her head to capture her lips, and she melted further into his arms until he was cradling her against him.

He finally broke the kiss, his breath tearing in and out of him. He pressed his forehead to hers and cupped her face in his hand.

"I hate to stop."

"Then why did you?"

He brushed his nose along hers. "Because if I go any longer I _won't_ stop. And we agreed."

"Right." Ava sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "Let's clean up."

"Leave the blanket. I wanna come back out here."

Ava smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Whatever you want, dreamboat."

"Dreamboat?"

Ava nodded and pressed another kiss to his lips.

"I think I like that, doll."


End file.
